She Liked the Trucker's Christmas Parade

I should've known we run into problems in our marriage when I realized she absolutely loved the Eureka Trucker's Christmas Parade.

It's easy to compromise on most things, for the sake of the relationship. But, I spent a couple cold, December Saturday nights bouncing my youngest son on my lap pretending that she wasn't absolutely crazy for finding that damn trucker's parade so enjoyable. I found it pointless and, really, of no value to the holiday season.

How could we compromise when she loves what I found utterly disdainful?

I think about the trucker's parade every year about this time and thank God I live far enough away so that it comes and goes without my knowing it. When I visited Eureka on a work trip, one of my sons' best friends (who's actually more a member of the family than a friend) joked that he and his wife are on or very close to the truck parade route...I think he was joking to make his new house sound good...I hope. Nobody brags about being near the truck parade route.

All I can figure is that people enjoy Christmastime and Christmas lights so much that they can enjoy them -- even if they share the spotlight with a bunch of trucks. I can't think of one earthly connection between trucks and Christmas...beyond that parade.

It started as a pet peeve, then grew into something they've yet to create a word to describe. How...who...why...do those guys in the 18-wheelers actually think honking their horns in a "Jingle Bells" beat results in them playing "Jingle Bells" on their horn? Their horns aren't musical instruments. They don't high different notes. So, every year for too many years, I sat there with my kids and pretend to sing along to:
"Honk Honk Honk ... Honk Honk Honk ... Honk Honk Honk honk-honk..."

It could be that I'm the Grinch when it comes to most things Christmas and that the trucker's parade drew my ire because it just happened to run by my place of business and I happened to be married to a Christmas Trucker's Parade fanatic for the bulk of the 1990s. I've never seen the Suisun City Boat Parade of Lights down here either. People who love Christmas swear it's a sight to behold...all the boats with Christmas lights, woa, boy!

I suspect somebody who just likes the lights and the season came up with the idea for the parades and hooked people in who felt the same way.

My younger kids were stumbling through Comcast (our cable company) and the On Demand section. (Eureka has, arguably, the worst cable provider I've ever seen. Suddenlink? Is that it? Man! I'll admit it's a snap judgment.) You can go to On Demand and watch TV shows, movies, sports events -- whenever you want to watch them. My daughter loves that show, "John & Kate Plus Eight." (I think the spin-off will eventually be, "John Leaves Kate With Eight" because Kate seems insufferable to me.)

While my daughter was looking for "John & Kate" she found "Crazy Christmas" -- something like that. She called it up and...lo and behold...she found herself watching the Ferndale Christmas Tractor Parade. My younger son watched briefly, mentioning he was in Ferndale and it doesn't surprise him that the tractor parade's a social event.

I know.

I know.

Nobody twisted my arm making me go to the truck parade. And, what do I care if somebody else enjoys the darn thing? But, in fairness, I was married to a woman who absolutely loved the damn thing and, briefly, she was brainwashing my youngest kids to love it, too, so...I do have a reason to vent here now, right?

Or, simply, I am the Grinch.